The author and captain, at the helm of Maverick. Photo courtesy Natasha Salvo
September 2023
By Natasha Salvo
Lately I’ve been questioning my relationship to sailing. Having recently returned to land after two years living aboard a Freedom 36 with my partner and cruising Maine and the Bahamas – and now boatless – I’m asking myself where sailing fits into my life. It was a fantastic experience in many ways, but, as I’ve told friends, “I’m not sure when I want to get on a boat again.” Yet much to my surprise, I recently found myself musing about buying another boat of my own.
You see, 10 years ago, I bought a Sabre 28. It had a 16-hp diesel, fresh water, head, electronics, alcohol stove, and inflatable. In other words, it was the real deal!
I grew up racing dinghies, sailed offshore to the Caribbean in my 20s, have done extensive cruising with my father and his wife in Europe, and owned an esoteric 22’ Drascombe Longboat. After all my sailing experience – much of it with older men – I began fantasizing about owning a cruising boat of my own.
When he learned I was looking, my very salty uncle suggested that we share ownership of his Contessa 26, as he could no longer sail alone. To test the waters, we brought the boat from Camden, Maine, to Round Pond, his home port of 50 years. As we approached the bar between Hog and Louds he asked, “If you were doing this alone, when would you cross the bar?”
“Only at half-tide or better, unless you want to run aground,” I replied. I’d passed the test. However, I soon realized that co-owning a boat with a father figure was exactly what I didn’t want. It was extraordinarily clarifying.
When I saw the listing for the Sabre, I had a strong feeling it might be the one. She was in beautiful condition, having been lovingly maintained by the same couple for 26 years. I called the broker, and Amanda, a spunky 30-something, met me at Strouts in South Freeport. The minute I stepped aboard I knew it was my boat. It had everything I wanted and needed: teak salon, full headroom, spacious cockpit, and even a fully equipped galley. It was big enough to feel like I could really go places but small enough to feel like I could handle it. But what really sold me was the toolbox, which included all the owner had ever needed to fix anything. Well, that and the name, Maverick. And it didn’t hurt that Amanda happened to own a Sabre 32 and was very encouraging. “Of course you can own a boat on your own!”
It felt like a defining moment in my life. I could give myself the freedom and awesome responsibility of owning a boat – with no man in front of or beside me – and discover my own sense of courage, confidence and competence. Or I could retreat into uncertainty, self-doubt, and fear and walk away. It was daunting on many levels: material, financial, and psychological. As mostly crew on other people’s boats, I had enough experience to know what I was getting into and to know what I didn’t know. Think diesel engine. But despite the voices, both internal and external, telling me not to do it, a bigger part of me was up for the challenge.
When we came ashore, I took out my checkbook and “took a leap off a cliff to find my wings on the way down,” to quote my feminist grandmother. Thus began the journey of becoming Captain of My Own Ship!
Hauling her the first winter and launching her the next spring was a huge learning experience. I watched over the mechanic’s shoulder, created checklists, and took true ownership of my vessel. My dear son helped me sand and paint the bottom and gave me the best Mother’s Day present ever, a buffer for the topsides. After celebrating the launch at Muscongus Bay Lobster, he said, “Let’s go put on the sails!” I was emotionally spent, but out we went to finish the job. “It’s just tasks, Mom!” Over the years, Simon has been one of my biggest supporters, and that mantra has seen me through many a task.
That said, I often felt overwhelmed and intimidated and like I was in way over my head. What did I know about how to unstick a seized seacock? Or how to keep your batteries topped up? So I inquired about “the right way” to do things only to discover there are many right ways. Me: “Do you put bottom paint over the transducer to keep barnacles off?” Dad: “NEVER paint over the transducer.” My friend Nigel Calder: “I’ve been painting over the transducer for years!” OK then, I guess I’ll have to make my own informed decisions. Which is precisely what it means to be Captain of Your Own Ship!
Everything I did for the first time was simultaneously a challenge and a triumph, until it became second nature. Over time, I took on most of the winterization and commissioning myself, rejoicing the first time I changed the oil with the support of a female sailor friend. Two mottos I came to live by are “It’s not rocket science,” and “It’s better than it was.” Think varnish. And when I needed an extra boost, say covering the boat by myself, I would break into song from The Sound of Music, “I have confidence in confidence alone!”
I spent seven glorious seasons sailing out of Round Pond and Falmouth. I took many friends sailing, including a number of women whom I mentored to feel confident behind the wheel. Under sail, I held a steady hand at the helm, kept a vigilant eye, and basked in the sensations of wind and water. In a safe harbor, I felt the deepest sense of solace and tranquility, the v-berth like a womb supporting me on my journey.
For me, owning a boat required a whole lot of Maverick – call it masculine – energy: strength, determination, and perseverance. At the same time, sailing her allowed me to feel the more feminine qualities of flow, responsivity, and presence in a way that only a sailboat can provide. It’s what I love most about sailing. To honor that, I added the name Saraswati, the Hindu goddess of flowing water, to the starboard bow so she could kiss the ocean as she glided through.
After seven years owning a boat alone, I was indeed Captain of My Own Ship. Only time will tell what my next vessel will be and where she will take me.
South Portland, Maine, resident Natasha Salvo has been writing a blog of her recent sailing travels and would welcome hearing from anyone considering or in the midst of becoming Captain of Your Own Ship, or any other sailing-related topic. Contact her at https://surrendertotheabundance.com/contact/.
