December 2008
By Tom Snyder
How cool would this be? A new genre of boat called a Zero Footprint Fair Weather Strolling Short Hopper? I think I’m going to design the prototype all by myself and then start building them for my target customers.
Let me say a word about my target customers. They would be guys who are not interested in speed or power or convenience on the water. They would be 58-year-old guys who are me. If you fit this description then please read on, because I will describe your next boat in some detail. If there’s time, I will include a drawing.
I like to imagine the one-page brochure of the ZFFWSSH, or as I like to call it, the Zifwish (which may very well mean something interesting in another language). The summary paragraph at the top will be suchlike:
“This 15-foot motor launch will gently take you and three companions wherever you want to go on a nice day. And back again. Your passage will be powered by a silent motor, more than quiet enough for you to chat softly to one another as you sit under the tasseled awning in your built-in wooden deck chairs. No fuel or exhaust will disturb the fragrance of the soft land breeze or the crème brule. Welcome to the world of a Zero Footprint Fair Weather Strolling Short Hopper.”
As I mentioned, this brochure will be sent only to me, my target demography. On the back of the brochure will be a technical description:
Above your awning/bimini, discretely sewn into the canvas, is an array of thin flexible solar panels that produce impressive current even on overcast summer days.
These solar panels supply power for a bank of deep-cycle, sealed batteries that live below the waterline.
The batteries supply power to an inboard electric motor that turns the propeller shaft. The motor has one moving part. Hooray.
The motor control is mounted beside the stern seat, from which the captain steers with a beautifully crafted wooden tiller and rudder.
Under the stern seat is installed the one piece of high-tech hardware aboard: an amp-hour monitor that transmits to a tiny handheld receiver the current number of hours and miles available on the batteries.
The front center of the brochure will have a testimonial from a satisfied customer something like:
“This morning, my wife hinted that she would love to go to our favorite cove for lunch. I checked the handheld which said that our Zifwish had a good four hours of running time in her, accumulated over the past few days. So we packed up an impressive lunch and walked down to the dock. Quickly we were gliding silently through the waters we love so much. Once upon a time, we would have wanted to play music, but there was too much to hear, too much to inhale. …
“When we arrived back home late this afternoon, we wondered where we would go the next time our little launch was topped off with solar energy and ready to travel. My wife kissed me and said, you are the most wonderful man in the world, so much better than the guy I dated right before I met you.”
I said I would include a drawing of this bold new boat if there were time, but there isn’t. So let me just leave you with this invitation. If you are in my target audience, and are me, please order one of these Zero Footprint Fair Weather Strolling Short Hoppers. I really want to make one.
Tom Snyder divides his time between Peaks Island, Maine and Cambridge, Mass.
