April, 2002
By Tom Snyder
Welcome to another year of Tom’s Sailing Institute. We are looking forward to a spring semester that will be every bit as exciting as last year’s. With the exception of one accidental death (the case for which will probably be dismissed because I have been so cooperative – and if it is not dismissed the settlement would result in only slight fee increases), last year was a banner year for our program. Our enrollment was up 100%. You do the math – that represents potentially a lot of students! Also, proudly, we are no longer listed with the Portland Coast Guard as a “constant threat to ourselves and others” – we have now been upgraded to a “constant threat to ourselves” classification. So, pour yourself a cup of tea, relax and browse these new course offerings. Find something that fits your needs and temperament. See you this spring! (Weather permitting.)
Our Staff
We are thrilled to announce that Tom has signed on for another year as instructor/lecturer. He will continue to “hold down the fort” as our master teacher and our only teacher. When you have the best, why fix it? A sailor with literally several years of experience, Tom is respected, figuratively speaking, throughout the boating world. Perhaps the Portland Harbormaster put it best when he said, “What Tom lacks in seamanship he more than makes up for in his lyrical pursuit of the craft in a marvelous counterpoint to the hegemony of the sailing elites. (Italic portion added for clarity.)
Our Facilities
For classroom work, we will continue to use Gritty’s (back bench); for field study, the Casco Bay Ferry; and for hands-on workshops we will bring back the very successful “Borrowed Boats” program. Last year, three different boat owners lent us their boats, often with their full knowledge and cooperation.
Financial Aid
Every year our costs go up, and we would be remiss in not passing these increases along to you. However, every year there are also some students who place a lower priority on contributing to a quality boating education program than on their own fixation with life’s basic needs. We do not stand here in judgment because, hey, the world is a big place and it takes all goddam types, but as teachers we have to draw the line at encouraging materialistic behavior that seems to say, “I want free stuff.” That’s just not America and it’s certainly not Tom’s Sailing Institute.
New Course Offerings
Blue Water Cruising Tactics: Tom, the instructor for this course, will give you the confidence to finally break your ties to the mainland. It’s time to head for the open sea. Using his own vast experience with sailing “so far out that you can barely make out the shoreline,” he will start with the basics such as how to fight boredom by tuning in to NPR broadcasts. He will provide practical advice on avoiding annoyances like rogue waves or children practicing in sailing skiffs. You will learn to file float plans with loved ones (if available), and, finally, you will be treated to an important lecture on how to feel OK about using the Coast Guard as your own personal convenience. “Remember,” Tom likes to say, “if you aren’t feeling cozy and relaxed, the Coast Guard isn’t doing their job.”
The Drogue vs. the Sea Anchor Controversy: It would be inappropriate to spend any less than six weeks on a topic as complex and divisive as this, and that is exactly how long your drogue/anchor instructor, Tom, insists this mini-course will take. By the time you have completed your coursework, you will be able to assertively choose the proper device to slow your boat in a storm. Tom courageously goes on record that both approaches always work in all storm situations, although he cautions that some products cost more than others. Last season, Tom unveiled his novel technique of keeping a drogue deployed for the entire season – when under power, it will provide the staggering loads that diesel engines crave. When under sail, a drogue will allow your canvas to appear more taut and full, even in light winds.
Safety at Sea: Tom, your instructor, has seen the video “The Lessons of Sydney-Hobart” more times than any other living American. In his words, “You can’t watch that video and not think about safety issues. Now multiply that by a thousand viewings and you begin to get a sense of how important safety is.” In this compelling but disturbing course, Tom will show the video, over and over if necessary, until every student gets the feeling that serious safety issues arise when you race delicate high-performance racing yachts owned by CEOs with complex relationships to carbon fiber interests.
Commencement Address
How lucky we are that Dodge Morgan has offered to give our closing address. After he hands out diplomas, Mr. Morgan will share a few of his favorite exclusive yacht club stories. We personally hope he tells the one about (and we don’t want to give anything away but…) the hostess from Connecticut, the air-horn, the commodore, the bourbon, the race committee, the bosun’s chair, the Norwalk Police Department and the brand new pair of Topsiders. If you have already heard this one, let us know before May and we can steer him to another story. Maybe the famous “red pants fiasco”.
Tom Snyder lives in Cambridge, Mass., with his wife Anne and children. He sails his Island Packet 350, Blue Moon, out of Peaks Island, Maine.
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